"But, but, what about polygamy?" -- What about it? Hang on to your pearls, Clutchy, cause I'm not afraid to slip down this slope. I'm opposed to nonconsent, violence and abuse, and that can happen in any type of relationship. Consenting polygamous/polyandrous adult unions, have at it. If that blows your mind, maybe it's time to fortify your brain a little better.
"Um okay weirdo so I guess you're okay with bestiality too." -- I guess you're okay with non-consenting butchery of a variety of animals so... get back to me later about how the sexual purity of animals is a national legal priority. Besides, why do you think gay people is a logical leap to animal people? Even I see the human/animal distinction better than that, psycho, and I'm a VEGAN.
"But think of THE CHILDREN." -- I am! Particularly the harassed, abused, tormented children who deserve a better society, one that recognizes and champions their worth. (Also thinking of the children beating them up. Don't start out in life as an abusive bigot, child.)
"No, no. Not the gay children. Think of straight children. Christian ones. Literally my children only. That's what I meant." -- No I don't care.
"But marriage means between a man and a woman! That's what the word means. You can't just change meanings of things cause you feel like it. A chair isn't a tree!!!" -- It is if I chop it down and fashion a chair out of it, dickhead! Newsflash, debate team champ, meanings change all the time. America: no longer a British colony! California: No longer north Mexico! Woman: no longer a piece of property with strategic holes! Literally: no longer a word with any meaning whatsoever! Ch ch ch chaaaanges. Please take your dictionary and shove it up your anti-sodomy laws.
"Okay back to the children. Marriage is for having children. Gay people can't have children naturally so they should not get to have marriage legally!" --Ooh, that's right. I forgot about the state-mandated biological children couples are required to have in order to get their marriage licenses renewed every five years.
"It's. Not. Natural." -- Mmmmmmm don't care. "Natural." what. You are nonsense.
"Only God can define marriage." -- Sorry bro there is no god.
"Now my straight marriage isn't special!" -- You're not special. You're the worst. You're not even the worst, cause that is a superlative that would suggest specialness. You're just a basic idiot with delusions of sanctity. Stop blaming others for your mediocrity you miserable clown.
"This is a violation of my civil rights!" -- Very much no. Once again, some system failed you very deeply when it left you with the impression that your right to marriage hinged upon denying others that same right. Broadening the scope of civil rights only strengthens the legal, moral authority of said rights. Saying, "we hold this right to be so inviolable that we must grant it to those who seek it" means your right to marriage is actually LESS likely to be revoked! But you don't actually like rights and equality, do you. You're into superiority and power and holding onto a sense of privilege that is unearned and does little to shield you from the vagaries of economic failure and personal disappointment and the specter mortality that haunts you as it inches closer, ever closer.
"This is a violation of my religious liberty!" -- Your religion isn't the only one that exists! You don't get to hoard all the liberty, fool. Also please see above re: no god.
"You don't have any respect for the institution of marriage." -- Hahahahaha YA GOT ME THERE. I actualy don't! I'm ambivalent-to-skeptical about the institution of marriage! I don't believe in its sacredness or inherent superiority over other expressions of love, family and commitment! I don't even agree with Justice Kennedy in his much-lauded statement that "no union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family." I think that's some monogamy-privileging conservative mainstream wackery. And also a little rude! But I also recognize that my personal feelings about marriage don't constitute a valid reason to deny the right of others to choose that life for themselves. Which is why I was my sister's maid of honor and why I support marriage equality. You should too. Even if you don't, now you have to, cause it's happening. Suck it, bigots!
You can go ahead and discredit this gay marriage supporter as a pro-polyamory atheist name-calling jerk, anti-equality types, but the time for discrediting gay marriage itself has ended. Be afraid, bigots. Cause we're coming for the rest of your prejudices too.
P.S.--I didn't always hold these arguments back...