In which I further discuss OKCupid and theater. Behold my list, based largely on local theatergoing experiences, of the best and worst plays to which to take one’s internet date. (Who takes a first date to a play? You probably, after this very good list.) Move over, the talkies. Love is about PLAYS now.
In the Next Room (or The Vibrator Play), by Sara Ruhl
Nothing bonds two erstwhile internet strangers together like sitting next to each other in darkness while an old-timey vibrator works its magic! A lovely play that illuminates the theatricality of the intimate. It will move you in all the ways.
Arcadia, by Tom Stoppard
Yeah, it’s more Romantic than romantic — but you can gauge a lot about your date’s intellect and/or pretentiousness by noting when they laugh at a Stoppard play.
Hello Again, by Michael John LaChiusa
I hadn’t heard of this 1994 musical until a revival by BridgeRep Theater Company in Boston last year. It’s funny and sexy and the immersive production went down like a shot of fine scotch. Also there was a bar at the show so it could have been that. Tingles either way.
The Tamer Tamed, by John Fletcher
For the Early Modern fan. Proto-feminism and food fights make for excellent post-show coffeeshop chat.
The Flick, by Annie Baker
Maybe this is the opposite of what a first date is supposed to be: long, fraught and full of awkward silences. But you could go for like, a second date. Point is: theater works like a shared secret. It’s a shortcut to closeness. You’re traveling somewhere in those dark silences, and you’re traveling together.
Intimate Apparel, by Lynn Nottage
It's not just that it's a play about fine handcrafted lingerie. It's got EPISTOLARY ROMANCE and SEXUAL TENSION and enough heartbreak to make you feel really grateful to live in a somewhat less sexist/racist/repressive time, and maybe that will remind you (and/or your date) to take advantage of the freedoms afforded to modern lovers. (Shout-out to Lyric Stage Co. for their Boston production!)
Les Miserables, by Boublil, Schönberg and Kretzmer
If your OKC date is me.
Oedipus Rex, by Sophocles
If your OKC date is your mom.
Equus, by Peter Shaffer
If your OKC date is a horse.
The Whale, by Sam Hunter
When my friends and I saw The Whale live, a couple in front of us chose to make out — an extreme lot — during the performance. Please. Never make out at The Whale. Go see it with platonic friends and definitely don't make out.
Blasted, by Sarah Kane
SPOILER ALERT: There is a stage direction in the script that reads: "He eats the baby." That’s at least fifth-date-level shit right there.
Venus in Fur, by David Ives
You think it’s going to be all sexy and edgy but if you belong to the general OKC age demographic, it won’t be. Perhaps more a Match.com thing?
The Trojan Women, by Euripides
Lots of monologues about the Trojan War. That’s time you could be spending on this 36 Questions thing that makes you fall instantly in love.
Any David Mamet
I mean. (Maybe if your date is David Mamet.)
It’s a shockingly non-exhaustive list, so please, add your recommendations in the comments! This list is particularly light on good LGBT date fodder so let's crowd-correct that. Or tweet suggestions, make up a hashtag, have at it. #playdates